Why I don't drink milk.

Cow's milk that is.
But it applies to any dairy product, or any other animal's milk and milk product.

Three reasons.

• I'm human.
• I'm too old.
• I feel bad for baby cows.

 (get ready for the dot-points, they don't end here)


Let me ellaborate a little, and we'll start by asking "What is milk?"

Wikipedia says:

"Milk is a white liquid produced by the mammary glands of mammals. It is the primary source of nutrition for young mammals before they are able to digest other types of food. Early-lactation milk contains colostrum, which carries the mother's antibodies to the baby and can reduce the risk of many diseases in the baby. "

Dictionary.com says:

noun

1. an opaque white or bluish-white liquid secreted by the mammary glands of female mammals, serving for the nourishment of their young.

2. this liquid as secreted by cows, goats, or certain other animals and used by humans for food or as a source of butter, cheeses, yogurt, etc.

3. any liquid resembling this, as the liquid within a coconut, the juice or sap of certain plants, or various pharmaceutical preparations.

I say:

• Milk is what mother mammals make for their babies to eat.
• It is designed to give the absolute best (read: normal) start for a young mammal.
• It is species specific. I.E. - A gorilla mother will make milk specifically designed to feed gorilla babies, a mother dog will make milk specifically designed to feed puppies, a human mother will make milk specifically designed to feed human babies ...AANNNNDDD a cow mother will make milk specifically designed to feed CALVES.

The conclusions I have drawn include:

• Breastfeeding is best (normal) nutrition for my daughter, and any future children. A breastmilk substitute comes with risks that need to be managed (info and resources here).
• There is no way that a mummy cow's milk is important/essential/necessary to my health or that of my daughter. Cow's milk is so at odds with human digestion that it causes all manner of upsets for many people. Even (the much healthier) raw, organic, grass-fed cow's milk is just not supposed to be eaten by humans.
• For a cow to lactate, she must have given birth to a calf, right? If humans are taking all of this milk from these cows, where are their babies? What are they eating? 
• OR the cows have lactation artifically induced, with hormones which pass into the milk and end up on your cereal and in your coffee. Yum.

Which leads me back to the afore-mentioned reasons that milk and dairy do not appear in my diet:

• I'm human - Humans only need human milk. They need cow's milk as much as they need giraffe's milk. Or whale milk. Or cat or dog or chimpanzee milk. It just doesn't make any logical sense.
• I'm too old - Yes human milk for humans and I'm all about natural weaning, but 24 is definitely too old.
• I feel bad for baby cows - Are they ALL slaughtered, JUST so that we can steal their food? I'm an omnivore, I believe in the circle of life (lol), and that meat is an essential part of a human diet, but to kill a baby to steal it's food just seems a little over-the-top evil to me. And if they grow up to be beef cattle, wouldn't they be healthier (and therefore more nutritious eating), if they get mother's milk as calves?

(I should add that soy milk is NOT a healthy alternative.) 

Milk (any dairy) is not necessary, and even if it can be nutritious, it disagrees with my morals.

...so there you have it folks, that's why I don't drink milk. 

What are your thoughts on dairy?

Wheat. What is it good for?

Did you start singing the song? I did too. :)

If you've heard much in the way of primal, paleo, ancestral-type health, you would probably agree that the answer is absolutely nothin' ...(say it again).

BUT I did work out at least 3 things that use wheat and are actually great :) horray!

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Number 1 - GLUE!


Yep, gluten makes a great glue, who knew?
(prrreeety much everyone Jayne, duh)

We all know how to make papier-mâché glue right? Plain white flour and water. At least that was how we did it when I was in Primary School.

There are many many complicated recipes out there for it that you can google if you like, but my way is to get about a cup of flour, and just keep adding warm water until you have the consistency that you like. Start with 1/4 to 1/3 of a cup and then add in small amounts to your heart's desire.

My teenage brother made packet pancakes for his and his girlfriend's breakfast the other morning and somehow managed to leave little droplets of mix all over the kitchen (really, he must have been flinging it around or something) and due to his lack of cleaning skills they dried where they landed. Let me tell you, when I noticed them and tried to clean them, they were horrible! I had to soak, scrape and scrub so hard to get rid of them.

Great reminder of why I don't want that in my body.

Number 2 - DECORATIONS :)

Salt-dough! It's like glue, but you mold it and bake it!

I found this lovely post on salt-dough ornaments and decided to make some with Wildchild.

I put blue and yellow food colouring (because I didn't have red, I really wanted red...) into the water that I used to mix with the flour and salt so we ended up with 7 little green christmas tree decorations. They will be painted sparkly and probably have a message on the back too. Do you like 'em?

work in progress

I'm rather broke this christmas so I'm sending these out as presents for a few people and keeping one for our family. I'm hoping it can be a yearly tradition so that in years to come we can look at the tree and see her hand grow :)

Also (not wheat related, but) another ornament I'm going to make soon is a time-capsule bauble.

Number 3 - HAIR-DYE ...?

True story.
I dyed my hair darker about 3 weeks ago, and the hairdye I used said it was made using wheat, corn and soy.
I had to laugh at that because those are all things I avoid like the plague usually but they were using it as a selling point. Anyway I used it because I thought it's got to be a little better than the usually toxic chemical cocktail, and I really wanted to get the blonde out of my hair. I think it was Naturtint, but I'm not 100% certain.

I have pretty sensitive skin, and dying my hair is usually a very painful experience (I know, I know, why do it then? I have no idea, I like changing my hair colour...). BUT this time not only did the dye NOT stink to the high heavens, but also DIDN'T hurt my scalp in the slightest! Woah!

Horray! A use for all that wheat, corn and soy that people should definitely not be eating!

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So there you go, three things that wheat is good for. Not that I'm advocating for wheat in any kind of way, but if you happen to have some remaining in your pantry from a less-enlightened time in your life feel free to get crafty with it!

Can you think of any other great uses for horrible pantry-lurking poisons? Please share :)

How to Create a 'Village' for Your Child at Day Care

You've no doubt heard the saying, 

"it takes a village to raise a child"

Many working or studying mums have no choice but to have their children spend many hours a week in long day care, and this can be a great source of stress, worry and guilt. 

I stressed myself sick about starting this Teaching Prac that I'm on at the moment, because it is 4 weeks of 9 hour days, 5 days a week. I felt like I was letting WildChild down, I felt like I was a traitor to attachment parenting, and most of all I worried that it would affect our relationship negatively. I worried that we would lose our closeness, that our bond would weaken, I thought I'd never get any time to enjoy my daughter's company, and I'd become "one of those mums" who seem always too busy for their children. 

I pretty much thought it was the apocalypse.

However, I have come to realise that not only do I have no choice (unless I quit my course, which I'm not going to do), but also that worrying is a completely pointless exercise. The best course of action is to take that energy that I would have wasted on stress, and use it for something practical. 

So I have started trying to foster more of a connection between myself and WildChild's Daycare, in the hope that, instead of feeling like she's missing out on time with her mother, it will be more like she is gaining time with a whole "village". Here's how I think I can do it:

 Don't Rush

One of the best ways to help children feel more secure about leaving their parents at drop-off time is to make sure it's a relaxed affair.

I've been trying to get organised 10 minutes earlier so that when we arrive at her Daycare, it's not a mad rush to get in, throw her into one of the teachers' arms and rush out again. Now we have time to stroll around her classroom, looking at yesterday's artworks and admiring the displays that the teachers have put a lot of effort into making. We put her bag in her locker together, and her lunch in the fridge together, and stop to chat to whoever we meet along the way.

Think about how it must feel for a child to have their parent get in and out as quickly as possible. I personally would feel like I'm being being left in a place that my parent doesn't like to be in. Having extra time to enjoy the atmosphere, and connect with the place, sends children a strong message that this is a desirable place to be. This is a fun place and a beautiful place and somewhere to be comforable, relaxed and happy. 

Know the Staff

In the same vein, if you want a child to respond to and like their teachers, you need to model that behaviour. 

One day last week my phone decided to get me up an hour early (I live very close to a state border, and my phone believed it was in the state that has daylight savings, when really we are in the state that doesn't), so completely by accident I had an entire hour to hang out with WildChild at her Daycare when I dropped her. I got to chatting with a few of the teachers and found out lots of interesting things, and lots of things that we have in common. This turned out to be an excellent mistake on the part of my phone, because now when I'm doing the drop-off or pick-up, I feel much more comfortable chatting about how WC is feeling that day or what the class will get up to later. As well as miscellaneous things like what we did on the weekend, which gyms they've tried, or where is good for lunch.

 It might seem pointless, but these little snippets of information help teachers know the children, which helps them connect and teach more effectively. It also helps you appreciate their work, and the effort and forethought that goes into the 'fun activities'. And lastly, it helps you feel that instead of leaving your child with strangers, you are leaving your child with people that you know and trust.

In a traditional environment, the adults would all have strong relationships with each other and transitions between parent and temporary carer would be very fluid and natural.

Try going over to a teacher and starting a conversation. It doesn't need to be anything particularly special...eg:

"How has your morning been so far?"

"I see the kids are really into the sandpit today."

"Ooh, I like your shoes." 

...Really, anything. You are just showing your child that this adult person is a friend. They are a nice person and someone you can both trust. Your little one can be more comfortable with their teachers, because you are.

Make Friends

This is probably the Early Childhood (student) Teacher in me, but I find children to be just as unique and interesting as adults are.

WildChild has found herself a best friend at Daycare, called Katie*. Whenever we arrive, Katie rushes over with the biggest smile on her face to give WC a big hug and a kiss. I started making sure that I say hi to Katie whenever I see her, and having 'conversations' (as you do with barely verbal toddlers) about what her likes and interests. Now it's to the point that three or four children will wander over when we arrive to greet WildChild and to tell us both about whatever is important to them at that moment (this often involves where their parents are at the present moment, and/or shoes). It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy to see my little girl being greeted excitedly by her peers, and it helps her begin her day more naturally when her friends come over for a chat and then whisk her off to play.

I met Katie's mum this morning too. We had a lovely chat about the things we had seen our daughters do to show how much they care about each other.

Take an interest in your child's social life, even when they're small. It helps them develop closer, stronger friendships (and I hope it will help when she's a teenager and her social life is a little more frightening for me).

The reality of modern life is that our personal 'villages' are not physical, and there may be little overlap between ours and that of our next-door neighbour's. It's easy to forget the multitudes of lives that are linked to yours. 

When your child is in daycare they are not in a vacuum of suspended animation, they are relating to people, they are learning and they are growing. Not being present for the entire day, does not have to mean that you can't still be part of it. You can make sure that you are linked to these people and these places and these lessons, and it will only prove beneficial for your child. 

Why we bed-share

The short answer is because it is natural and easy.

But here's a story for your reading pleasure...
When I was pregnant, I had a bassinet all set up for my baby next to my bed. I thought that babies were supposed to sleep by themselves, and be "trained" to sleep soundly through the night.
I just thought this was normal, I didn't have any idea how differently I would feel once I had a real live child.

After WildChild was born, everything went out the window.

Accidently passed out on the lounge, WildChild was about a week old
(This is not an example of safe bedsharing, but luckily my dad was nearby so no worries)

 I tried to put her in the plastic bassinet that was next to my hospital bed, but I couldn't bring myself to keep her there. I can't even describe the feeling of it, it was something like putting my own limb away from myself. I felt lost and scared and unatural with my baby away from me (which was nothing compared to day 3 when they took her away to test for jaundice, I was crying into my food).
So she slept on the bed with me. I put the side rail up and wrapped her up and slept with her beside me. The nurses occasionally told me it was against hospital policy, but they were very understanding and (several of them) told me they wouldn't tell so long as I didn't tell that they knew.
I guess I was lucky for that because as a new mum I was so impressionable and if someone had screamed about it then I would have overridden my instincts and put her in the cold plastic bassinet to sleep.

So that's how we came to bed-share. It was instinctual and natural, and it was also the easiest things in the world. I did try now and then in the following months to put her to sleep by herself, but she wouldn't have a bar of it, and it killed me to listen to her cry that she was scared and lonely.
I have always gotten as much sleep as I wanted or needed, never having had to get out of bed to feed my daughter. I guess this is why I've never cared that she didn't sleep through.

anyone feel like telling this mum she can't sleep with her baby?

When I thought about it a little, it made sense to me that doing what our species is designed to do will produce the best results. (Sound a little Paleo?)

It was only after being a mum for a while that I found many online parenting resources that document the short and long term benefits of bed-sharing for babies and mothers. Research by Dr James McKenna indicates that bed-sharing protects against SIDS (and other night-time dangers), facilitates breastfeeding, and produces happier, more confident people.* Babies don't know that they've been born into a safe place, they instinctively need their parents close to feel like they aren't in danger. They also need to feed frequently because they have very small stomachs and very quick metabolisms, which in turn helps mums milk supply keep up with her baby's changing needs.

Now that WC is 18months, I'm starting to think about her having her own bed. Although this doesn't seem like a very practical option while I'm living at my parents house, in a rather cramped room, so I'm happy to continue while we're here.
Perhaps when one day we have a home of our own she will have her own room and her own bed, but I won't force her to sleep alone if she doesn't want to, and I won't mind the cuddles at all :)

NOTE: This means safe bed-sharing, where the parent is not sleep deprived, under the influence of anything, they don't smoke, the baby is above the bedding, and there is not chance of baby falling into gaps that could crush a tiny body. There are dangers, just as there are dangers with cots, that need to be monitored and minimized.
However, for us, bed-sharing is lots of reward for much less effort.

Welcome! So what's this all about?

Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Jayne :)
I was born in the Northern Territory in Australia and currently live in the Gold Coast, but that is probably changing soon.

This is Lionel, Elsie and I at the Lincoln Memorial in June

This is my opinions, ideas and experiences.
I try to live in a more instinctual, natural, healthy way which involves eating the way I believe humans are designed to, being fit and strong, and being an 'attached parent' to my daughter Elsie.
What does that mean for us?
It means my family eat a paleolithic diet high in grass-fed meats, fats and vegies, with moderate amounts of fruit and nuts, and (almost) no grains or dairy.
We keep fit, strong and healthy with crossfit, incidental exercise and a fun outlook on movement and activity.
It means Elsie still recieves breastmilk from me  and will continue to until she is at least 2 years old unless she decides to wean earlier. She is 17 months old at the time I'm posting this. Human milk for a growing human child :) there is nothing healthier, and no food that could possibly be considered more 'paleo'.
We bed-share, and have done so since she was born. I went with my instincts, and I can tell you Elsie and I both were never sleep deprived, even with me starting studying full time the same week she was born. For the first year of my course, I also took her to class with me in a sling :)
I'm studying a Bachelor Degree in Early Childhood Education, and am highly passionate about children's issues. Elsie goes to a long day care service 3 days a week while I'm in classes. I don't consider this ideal, but it's the only option we have.
I'm also very interested in Australian Aboriginal perspectives, cultures and teaching pedagogies. After I graduate I hope to return to the Northern territory to teach in a remote community.

Right now, I live with my parents, and Lionel lives in the US (he is a US citizen, I won't go into specifics). I consider myself very lucky because I have the ultimate parenting resource (my mum) around all the time and so much help with Elsie; I also think it's great for her to have a multigenerational environment and multiple familial caregivers.

So that's me, and the future blog content convered, what about you? Have you heard of paleo? Do you practice attachment parenting? Do you have any experience with Indigenous education? Please tell me about yourself :)