Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Late night thoughts on the nature of self

Are we what we are just because we are that way, or do we choose it in certain ways?
If we just are what we are, then why does pretending to be something start to make us feel like we're becoming it? (At least me, it's a bit presumptuous to say 'we' probably)

Since I've started caring more about the way I dress and the way I do my makeup and how my body looks, I've started to feel like I'm losing my depth of character and thought. Like I'm losing myself. Becoming superficial and narcissistic and stupid... And more feminine. But what the fuck?
Getting gel nails makes me feel girly. But that can SURELY not be physiological. It has got to be cultural. So therefore I only feel girly with fake nails because some particular culture that I feel part of dictates that girls/women have pretty nails. Women and girls are decorative. Of course. So then I should KNOW that that doesn't MAKE me anyone, it's purely a construct.
Why do I feel that I'm changing?

I know why. It's because I feel that I APPEAR different. And how we, (sorry I) see ourselves (myself) is very often through the eyes of others. I think they'll look at my nails and makeup and clothes and think "vapid, self-obsessed, unintelligent", so that's how I'm seeing myself.

Interesting ideas to think about... especially in relation to child rearing. I've heard it said before that the words we speak to our children become their inner voice. After thinking about it, I'd have to say I believe it whole-heartedly.

We are EXACTLY what we believe ourselves to be. What we do is who we are.

What are you?

No comments:

Post a Comment